Bills/Pats. Here we go.

Now, I’ve got to be a little discreet here – not wanting to appear to endorse any activity that could get us in trouble with McFadden’s, let alone the long arm of the law.

As a public service….this might describe, on a per-person basis, the post-Pats game scene:

But, when that happens, the more level-headed among us need to help bring a little more calm and civility to the situation:

Similarly, when we take to the streets after an emotional game, it’s understandable why we may individually act like this:

But, we should work on incorporating a small dose of this guy:

Seriously, what else am I going to say about this game that won’t be covered everywhere, from the NY Times to obscure bloggers? As Matt Kabel says, it’ll become part of NYCBBB legend. We have a shot – a shot – to play some meaningful games for one of the few seasons since we began this whole NYCBBB group.

I’ve been at a LOT of NYCBBB games at both McFadden’s and Calico Jack’s, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen the crowd more into it, more emotional, or more drained by the end.

From a football perspective, as dominating as the Pats were in the first half, I didn’t think the Bills looked that bad; the Pats just looked that good. By the second half, any intimidation wore off, and the crowd clearly became a meaningful part of the game. But, let’s not overstate that: the Bills themselves clearly got under Tom Brady’s skin…and in front of a few of his passes.

I also don’t think I was ever happier to see one of the Bills’ TD calls reversed than I was at the end of the game: rather than give Brady a chunk of time to do something, the Bills were able to control the ball until the final play. A few, poorly executed kneel downs later (really, guys: do you have to torture us even on kneel downs?) and the game was over, with the victory secured.

Wow. First the Bills are named the NFL’s best-looking team in a super-scientific, unassailable study, and THEN they not only beat, but WHUP the Chiefs – in Arrowhead, in week one! –41-7! I’m not big on exclamation points, but in this case…!!!!

For one week, at least, the team was as talented as it was good looking. Or, more technically, facially symmetrical.

It begs an important question: is it actually better to look good than to feel good? And maybe (maybe) even more important: are the Bills a lot better than we thought? Or are the Chiefs really, really bad? Today, it seems, the answer was both. The Chiefs were horrible, but Bills were clicking on all cylinders: the defense was tight. Fred Jackson ran like mad. Ryan Fitzpatrick played smart. Shawn Merriman got hurt only once. Neither Roscoe Parrish nor Leodis McKelvin did anything dopey.

It won’t always be like this, but it’s definitely a week to remember.

Speaking of remembering, I think that over the long term this will rank as one of the more memorable games in our history at McFadden’s and Calico Jack’s. McFadden’s was the quietest I’ve ever heard it pre-game, during the tributes to 9/11. But once the Chiefs fumbled the opening kickoff, the place was in scream-only mode for three hours. The bar was so happy, in fact, that unless it got corrected after I left, my table left our waitress an 800% tip.

I don’t need to bother recapping the game or showing clips, because most of you reading this saw the game or read the reports. So, here’s a clip of the game it most reminded me of – another first-week stunner:

This was the team’s largest opening-week point total since beating the Jets to kick off the 1975 season. I couldn’t help but become curious about the Bills’ 1975 season. Coincidentally, that team featured standout wide receiver Bobby Chandler – while today’s effort featured a standout performance from tight end Scott Chandler:

What can the Bills do for an encore? I’ve got to believe the Raiders, at home and on short rest, are vulnerable…leading to another memorable McFadden’s moment:

A quick sidebar: a bearded guy introduced himself to me today, and clearly knew who I was. I had to admit I didn’t recognize him. But, I did once I heard his name: his father used to bring him to Calico Jack’s as a teenager.

We’re actually building a second-generation of NYC Bills Backers.

It was six men of Western New York
In very much a funk,
Who evaluated their Football Team
(Though all of them were drunk),
That each by observation might foresee
The obvious draft pick at number three

The First considered the Football Team,
And its inconsistency scoring points;
“Fitzpatrick for another year?!” he exclaimed,
“That would surely disappoint.
He had a fine year, but he’s a back up at his craft;
A dozen starters since Kelly? We need a quarterback to start this draft!”

The Second, studying the run defense,
Cried, “Whoa! What have we here?
So porous? So disorganized? So slight?
‘Tis boils my blood;
The Football Team’s first-round pick must be a run-stuffing defensive stud!”

The Third approached the Football Team,
And considered the O-Line gang
Bell, Wood, Levitre, Hangartner (and don’t forget the missing Wang)
“I see,” quoth he, “the Football Team Needs protection on the Line!”
Then, to emphasize, he boldly spake:
“I mean, come on, give me a freaking break!”

The Fourth reached for his stat sheet,
And ran down the Wide Receiver list.
“Evans is done, Johnson drops,
The rest make me quite pissed.”
Quoth he; ‘Tis clear enough the first pick
Should be a top Receiver…do it now, do it quick!”

The Fifth chanced to recall,
When the Football Team had big, strong guys
To whom to dump the ball;
“Remember Pete Metzelaars? Remember Jay Riemersma?
A non-glamorous pick wouldn’t offend;
At some point in this draft, perhaps up top, we need a new Tight End”

The Sixth wasn’t focused on the players,
He had a different take
He focused on the management team,
And especially Tom Modrak,
“We can’t fire Wilson,” quoth he, “And I like good ol’ Chan Gailey.
But we can hire a new head of scouting
Or this April, we’ll all be pouting!”

And so these men of Western New York
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were…no, none of them was wrong!

Moral:

In the imminent Football draft pick wars,
The disputants, with their bag of tricks,
Will rail on in utter ignorance
Of how to persuade Buddy Nix,
And prate about the most pressing need of a Football Team
That, sadly and tragically, has no single fix!

I was actually going to write a somewhat upbeat column, but this was much more fun.
I’m with the Second, by the way.
Have a great off-season, everyone!

I should have more to share after a Bills’ victory: keen analysis, unique insight. But, who am I kidding? I’ve got nothing to add that the websites, message boards and papers haven’t already captured.

Probably not the most auspicious start for a column, but nonetheless….

So, instead, beyond sharing how happy I was to see this Bills actually leading a game at half-time – and how much fun McFadden’s continues to be even in the dog days of the NFL season – here are a bunch of random thoughts:

From SpyGate to TripGate
If I were a Jets fan, I’d hold off on the snarky SpyGate comments for a while – because now Pats fans (and Fish fans, for that matter) have ammunition, too. We Bills fans can just sit back and watch them all go at each other.

Why didn’t the Jets fire their trainer? I assumed it was because the coaches told him to be guarding the sideline against the Fish’s special teams gunner to begin with! Now it appears — or, at least, it’s claimed — that the trainer acted on his own, instructing some players to help him form a sideline wall.

I DO have a problem with tripping someone — a big one. But, strategically standing on the sideline? I’m no Jets fan, but I have no problem with that at all. The guy is now suspended indefinitely, but I’m guessing that if he hadn’t tripped an opponent, the coaching staff would be saying, “Good thinking, Sal!” I would have rather seen the Jets argue that they should be able to stand where they want on their own sideline, and separate that aspect of the story from the tripping part. But, I also know that’s not how the (political) game is played.

I’m showing my age when I share that all of this reminded me of Coach Woody Hayes’ infamous player attack during the Ohio State vs. Clemson Gator Bowl.

Choose One
If you could guarantee – guarantee! — the Bills would win one of their final three games, which opponent would you choose; The Fish, Pats or Jets?

A sign of the times is that, personally, I’m eliminating the Fish immediately. As recently as two years ago, I would have ALWAYS chosen the Fish first, but for reasons you all understand, there are plenty of reasons to want to beat the other two these days.

I think I’d choose the Jets: in part because it might make a difference to their playoff hopes, and in part because a lot of you will be at the game. But, it’s tempting to simply end that damn losing streak against the Patriots.

Forget it, I’m breaking the rules of my own contest: let’s beat them all (I know the “get a higher draft pick” crowd will disagree – but we can choose another running back at pick 6 as easily as at pick 2).

The Difference Between the NFL and MLB
Well, there are lots of differences between football and baseball, of course. I love them both. But, I find it remarkable that in the same week three MLB teams went to battle over Cliff Lee (and Lee chose a team paying him $50 million less than what the Yankees offered)…the Redskins are voluntarily sitting Albert Haynesworth, and no one seems to be jumping up and down to grab him this season. NFL players must look at their MLB counterparts and turn green with envy.

And, of course, if you REALLY want to know the difference between football and baseball…there’s a George Carlin classic.

See you on Sunday!

It’s only fitting that this week’s particular outcome coincided with the death of one of my personal favorites, Leslie Nielsen of Airplane and Naked Gun fame: in one short week, thanks in large part to Steve Johnson, the Bills’ transformed from “Why so serious?” to “Surely, you can’t be serious.” Alas, they were deadly serious. In a week when the network team covering our game chose to refer to him as “Stevie” Johnson, our ace receiver also transformed — from Steve Largent one week to Stevie Wonder the next.

OK, cheap joke. The fact is, I might like Steve Johnson even more than I did before. I mean, did you see his post-game press conference? I can’t remember the last time I felt so bad for an athlete.

I also can’t remember the last time I felt so bad for me. I was talking to a guy at McFadden’s who told me how hard he takes each loss; actually, his girlfriend told me. The guy was too busy taking the loss hard. I thought back to the 1990s, when I was the same way. Every game, I’d scream my head off, have no voice on Monday, be sick with a sore throat by Wednesday, and recover by Saturday — in time to do it all again (I still do that, but for whatever reason don’t lose my voice or get sick anymore). When the Bills lost, I couldn’t read the sports sections for days. To paraphrase Marv Levy when he retired from coaching, the devastation I felt from the losses dwarfed the joy I took from the victories.

Now, that might be because the Bills were so good back then; more was at stake, and losses were rare. Or, it could just be because I’m older now.

My point is…the Steeler game felt like the 1990s to me. I can’t remember the last time I took a loss this hard…except for, perhaps, the game-16 loss to the Steelers a few years back, when the Drew Bledsoe-led Bills failed to secure a playoff birth. But, this game was harder for me, because victory was ours, only to literally slip through the hands of our best receiver.

In the scheme of things, is 2-9 really so different from 3-8? Nah. But, does the game add to our team’s “mystique?” Absolutely. That’s Buffalo Bills football — the most exciting, frustrating 2-9 team I’ve ever seen. Surely, they can’t be serious.

Do you believe in miracles…finally winning a game against a historically bad road team? Yes!” — Al Michaels (somewhat paraphrased and taken out of context).

The winless Bills vs. the road dog Lions: the stoppable force vs. the moveable object. Something had to give. Naturally, it took virtually an entire 60 minutes for the Bills to finally take their first end-of-game knee of the season.

In retrospect, the Bills’ first victory in nearly a year was predictable: on Sunday morning, a renegade deer crashed through a Wegman’s window in my native Niagara Falls, leaving a trail of blood and a decent amount of damage in its path. As our more classically educated NYCBBBers no doubt already knew (unlike me – thanks, Wikipedia), deer represent a symbol of happiness and good fortune in Chinese mythology, and in other mythologies herald profound change.

True, in Western New York, deer more commonly represent hunting season or a holiday meal, but really, how much more of a sign did we need? Fortunately, on this particular Sunday, the positive harbinger of the deer outweighed the ferocity and savage preying generally associated with Lions; these Lions, in road games, at least, tend to resemble lambs, especially without their starting quarterback.

The Bills game was locally blacked out, minimizing the number of people who could revel in actually seeing the victory. Consider this: those of us at McFadden’s were among the relatively few people in the country who actually SAW it happen. Something to tell the grandkids about…most likely right before they commit you for good.

Sure, it wasn’t beautiful: the three-man jump ball for a would-be interception; a key drop by Steve Johnson, a missed field goal by Rian Lindell, CJ Spiller going down with a hammy, a pretty bad opponent. In some ways, it was one of the team’s lesser performances But, let’s focus on what WAS beautiful: Freddy Jackson’s performance, Brian Moorman’s clutch kicks, Johnson making a key catch right after the missed one, the generally spirited defensive effort, Shawne Merriman’s sparkling debut.

OK, forget that last one.

Above all, we should walk away with two lasting memories:
– The sheer delirium, we-won-a-playoff-game type of delirium, in McFadden’s.
– The fact that, while bad seasons come and go, this year’s Bills won’t go down as an 0-16 squad.
– For one week, at least, we sang to “We Are The Champions” instead of skulking out to “Don’t Stop Believin’”.

Thanks, deer. I don’t want to cause anyone any hardship, but here’s hoping a badger runs amok in a Mighty Taco before the Bengals game.

And, on a final note, congratulations to Michelle Girardi, former NYCBBB columnist and current leader of the Downtown Philadelphia Buffalo Bills Backers, who returns to her work at NFL Films following maternity leave.

Remember the old joke about going to a fight and a hockey game breaking out?

The Bills went to a football game in Toronto and, apparently, a golf match broke out – at least, that appeared to be the case judging from the tepid, golf-clap crowd reactions that seemed to dominate Sunday’s latest, they-found-another-new-way-to-lose debacle at the Rogers Centre and Mausoleum. In fact, I shouldn’t even use the word “crowd.” Sports crowds are rowdy and engaged. This was an “audience.”

I reserved immediate judgment, because McFadden’s is so loud who can really hear the fan reactions? But, after the Bills scored their tying – excuse me, their should-have-been-tying – touchdown, an audience shot showed one animated Bills fan applauding, surrounded by dozens of non-reacting attendees. It looked like a group of tourists who had been walking down the street and offered free comedy-show tickets. They hadn’t planned on being there, and didn’t know the comedians, but what the hell? We’re in town, and it’s free. It didn’t look like they were enjoying the show so much. Or understanding it.

The Associated Press ran a story on Friday reporting Rogers Communications’ commitment to extending the Bills’ five-year series. The next day, Rogers denied the report, saying only that it is committed to the current deal but has no plans beyond that.

What I found most interesting was the quote from Rogers vice chairman Phil Lind in the original, disputed report: “We’re there for the long haul one way or another. We believe in this.” Now, do I know for sure what he means? No. But, on the surface, it sure sounds a lot like, “We really want the NFL here – but, we’re not sure we want the Bills here.”

Which, again on the surface, would be just fine with a lot of Bills fans, who clearly don’t dig the expense or inconvenience of Toronto games, not to mention the passiveness of the spectators and inability to tailgate. In reality, this was a Bills home game roughly the same way it was a Bears home game. But, a Toronto that actively pursues a franchise can only complicate matters for Buffalo.

Did the passive fans make Lindell miss his first-ever PAT? No. Did they cause Parrish to be ever-so-slightly out of bounds on what would have been a huge, late-in-the-game reception? No (on a side note, I wish it had been a legit CFL field; Parrish might have been inbounds). Would the final outcome have been different in Buffalo? Unknowable, of course, but quite possibly. I’ll even venture to say, quite probably. Cutler got to operate in virtual silence. The Ralph crowd certainly would have made his job tougher.

And this comes from one of the rare Bills fans I know who favored the Toronto experiment. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t like it and never have. But, I also viewed it as our best bet to keep the team local. I guess I’m back to rooting for Jim Kelly to actually have a team of investors waiting in the wings.

So, never wanting to end on a pessimistic note, what’s the good news? Steve Johnson might be a star in the making. David Nelson was very encouraging to watch. And maybe, just maybe, Shawn Merriman might lend a spark to the pass rush, which in one crucial instance gave Cutler more than six seconds to find a receiver. Next week, the Lions – an improved team that, nonetheless, had no more luck closing the deal today than the Bills did. See you next week.

“I got a rock.”
– Charlie Brown, It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

Another f-ing rock.

Good goddamn grief.

It’s only fitting that the Chiefs game took place on Halloween – another game, another rock for the Charlie Browns of the NFL. Rock after rock after f-ing rock. If this were one of the Halloween movies, we’d be the happy, horny and dim high school couple so naively scurrying into the woods for a harmless romp, not recognizing the unspeakable horrors that, in retrospect, so obviously awaited us. We should come with our own ominous theme music and creepy old guy (Ralph Wilson in a trench coat?) warning us of the dangers ahead – all of which we’d ignore, of course. The dumb high schoolers are always the last to know, when it’s too late.

It didn’t have to be this way, we say. But, deep down, we know that it in fact HAD to be this way. Good breaks, bad breaks…it doesn’t really matter. You know the drill, so you don’t really need me to recount what you saw with your own eyes – once again Lucy, or perhaps it was simple fate, pulled the football away.

Twisting the knife a little deeper for me personally was the fact that this was my first game at McFadden’s in quite a while, having watched at Calico Jack’s in recent years. It was the same tremendous environment I have always loved at McFadden’s – they really do an amazing job for us – and I couldn’t help but think back to another Halloween when the late, great Buffalonian Tim Russert visited us and even posed for a photo I still treasure. I spoke with him for a total of, maybe, 90 seconds, but I can’t help but think that after this game, he would have hung his head, shook it slowly, chuckled, and chalked it up to the unique plight of the Bills fan. Or, maybe he would have put his hand though a wall, what do I know? Ninety seconds and reading Big Russ doesn’t make me an expert.

But maybe, just maybe, he would have paraphrased our collective alter ego/poster child Charlie Brown:
“Sometimes I lie awake at night,” said Charlie, “and I ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?’ Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.’”

Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but laugh when I left McFadden’s, as the DJ played Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.” That probably sums up Bills fans in a nutshell — half of us probably view the song as an anthem for those who never give up…and the other half view it as the last thing Tony Soprano heard before going face down in his onion rings.