It’s come to this: even rival, octogenarian owners are cockily dismissive of the Bills. Bud Adams gives the team the finger? What’s next, a Bob Kraft crotch grab? Woody Johnson mooning Dick Jauron? Al Davis directing lit farts toward Ralph Wilson’s luxury suite?

Actually, I can imagine that last one happening. Please be careful, Al: I bet those jump suits are remarkably flammable.

There’s not much else to say about the game or the team. What else can I possibly add that hasn’t been already offered up, or that you haven’t thought of yourself? So, instead, a variety of loosely connected random thoughts, Twitter-style (albeit without the character-count limitation):

• I thought the Bud Adams “Finger Gate” episode was equal parts funny, disturbing and sad. But, I also think he should be fined, heavily – at least $250,000*, and not only because it involved the Bills. Why? For one, he’s an owner, for goodness sake. Second, it was classless. And, three…
• …because the league ridiculously fined Chad Ochocinco $20,000 for attempting to “bribe” a ref with a one-dollar bill. If Commissioner Goodell had an ounce of humor, he would have fined Chad one dollar. If he had an ounce of common sense in this situation, he would have ignored it.
• How about that Bill Belichick? Ballsy call to go for it inside your own 30. Personally, I didn’t like the decision, and wouldn’t have liked it even if it had worked, but I’ve heard Ron Jaworski and others say it was a solid call. At least it was a rare occasion where Coach Bill was thinking strategically, instead of arrogantly. I honestly believe he was scared of giving Manning the ball again, anywhere on the field. Similarly…
• …how about the Jaguars’ Maurice Jones-Drew taking a knee at the one in the midst of a sure-TD rush, to prevent the Jets from getting the ball back – after Coach Ryan clearly instructed his players to let him score? Both were somewhat gutsy calls, although I’m always surprised we don’t see them both more often. Speaking of which…
• …how does a man end up with a hyphenated name? I mean, I can see if you’re an English lord or something. At least London Fletcher-Baker explained his reasoning along the way.
• How cool is it that both the Jets and Pats lost last-second heart breakers? Takes some – just some – of the sting away. Unfortunately, the Fish went the opposite route.
• Entirely unrelated to football – if there’s a championship bout between Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquaio at Yankee Stadium, I’m there. And I don’t even watch boxing anymore.

*After writing this, I learned that Adams was, in fact, fined $250,000 — $125,000 per inflammatory digit. Or perhaps $25,000 for each beer the guy must have downed leading up to this truly bizarre event.

Bob Dylan…Seinfeld’s fourth season…and the Buffalo Bills?

In the mid-1960s, Dylan exploded with a burst of creative output unknown in the rock world before or arguably since. Seinfeld’s fourth season – considered by many to be the best season of the best TV comedy – featured classic half-hours such as The Contest, The Bubble Boy, The Junior Mint and The Virgin.

And the Bills…are in the midst of a historically remarkable run of ugly – and, perhaps worse, boring – football. From Cleveland to the Jets, from Carolina to Houston this past week, this edition of the Bills Make Us Want to Pout in a way that might be incomparable.

How boring are they? To quote Homer (Simpson), “I’ve seen plays that were more exciting than this. Honest to God, plays!” If Hitchcock were directing a Bills documentary, he might call it “Dial D for Dull,” (although, if it were a highlight reel, he might simply go with, “The Byrd.”)

How ugly have these games been? If this were college and you brought the Bills back to your frat or sorority house as part of some mean-spirited looks- or personality-related contest, not only would you win, your friends would STILL kid you about it at reunions 20 years later. The beer goggles that would make this team appealing have yet to be invented.

Remarkably, the team’s gone 2-2 in this four-game stretch, but the fact is that you can’t be so horribly outplayed and outgained week after week and consider the relatively good luck to last. Matt Schaub isn’t Jake Delhomme or Mark Sanchez.

So, where do we stand at mid-season, entering the bye week? As I write this, I see that the Browns have cut ties with their GM, but not their coach. Teams are understandably reluctant to make coaching changes during the season, and I’m largely on board with that. I don’t believe they will find “the” solution mid-season, or that a care-taker coach necessarily accomplishes anything for the team. Besides, our complaints aside, do 3-5 teams really change coaches?

No, what we see is likely what you get the rest of the way. That doesn’t mean there aren’t compelling reasons to stick with the team, especially with arguably winnable games on the horizon: where will the greatest QB controversy since…well, Edwards/Losman…take us? Or does the team choose C; none of the above? How will they creatively integrate two strong RBs into the offense? Or, better put, will they? Will Coach Jauron’s growing tendency toward periodic risk-taking (fake punt in your own zone?) become more pronounced? Will they say the heck with it and start throwing to TO with abandon? Will we sweep the Jets in prime time in Toronto? How many picks will Byrd get? Does he have a chance to actually supplant our punter as our MVP?

And, with AVP not working out as an eye in the sky or on the sidelines, will they try have him call plays from the parking lot, aided by nothing more than the radio broadcast of the game?

Above all…can Calico Jack’s and McFadden’s stock the bar well enough to get everyone through the season? The Tennessee game might be coming up, but our bars’ beer supply versus Bills fans’ need for liquid diversion might be the TRUE Battle of the Titans.