Another Bills season nearly come and gone and what have we learned? This past week, I learned that watching the Bills while recovering from a bout of stomach flu is redundant – the nausea and malaise induced by the two are nearly identical…but, at least I knew the stomach bug symptoms would be gone in a few hours. The Bills, on the other hand, are the gift that keeps on giving.

And speaking of gifts, my travels and subsequent sickness prevented me from submitting this now-dated column before Christmas, but the sentiments remain. Inspired by the long history of Jews before me who wrote Christmas songs, I offer The 12 Days of a Bills Fan’s Christmas. In the interest of time and space, I consolidate the 12 days into one, final verse:

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
Ralph Wilson sent to me
Twelve more touches for C.J.,
Eleven defenders defending,
Ten more yards on Lindell’s leg,
Nine new coaches,
Eight guys with Eric Wood’s attitude
Seven sold out years at the Ralph,
Six division victories,
Five meaningful games after week 13….
Four injury-free offensive linesmen,
Three strong receivers,
Two fewer Toronto games,
And a QB who doesn’t make the Big Mistake!